“I am a night owl,” I used to tell everyone.
It was partly true. Tendrils of inspiration found me in the darkest hours of my day.
I also made it true by staying up too late + putting off important tasks til late.
6 years ago, I noticed my body would wake me at dawn after the spring equinox until the winter solstice. I held firm in my nocturnal-ness. The lack of sleep caused me great anxiety + made me reactive + grumpy.
Being a night owl was costing me my health + work + relationships. I held steadfast to the night because it felt too uncomfortable to become a morning person.
After some reflection, I realized I became a night owl to create a sanctuary for myself while my family slept. Where I would not be pulled into the everyone’s expectations of me as the only daughter, the mini family therapist, and all the duties that were placed on me.
Late night was the one time I could truly linger in the singularity of my own thoughts and dreams. Crickets were my only companion as I read, wrote, doodled + danced with my walkman.
Many aspects of our identity are created in reaction to the offenses thrown at us + in protection of our true expression.
Holding onto our ego when our lives ask us to evolve keeps us in the same defensive dynamics with the rest of the world.
I now let the seasons dictate my sleep patterns. I still feel inspired at night, so I capture notes while reading. But the focused work happens in the early morning.
Drop your identity + open your life to your true potential. Listen to the signs that a shift needs to happen.
